Critique Magic

*Update after Fall 2024 Conference*

I am even more grateful now for the opportunity to learn from peers and experts in my chosen field! I’ve often struggled with rejection sensitivity in other areas of my life (common among “autists” and other neurodivergents), but I want so much to succeed in KidLit that I’ve grown to cherish even the feedback that tears down what I thought was solid, if it means I can make it better. This Fall, the conference feedback was tough on my art again — and I hit the ground running the very next day to grow, to leap, to soar higher, full of gratitude and fire!

February 21, 2024:

I started my “KidLit” (children’s literature) journey pretty confident. I’m good at art and good at stories, I told myself. And I want to make the world better with books. That should be enough, right? Look how much my then-5-year-old loved my home-printed first book about our dog! But…

… very quickly, I learned that the first years (few or many!) of a career in KidLit are a kind of messy self-led unpaid internship, at once deeply humbling and incredibly magical. 

The humbling part comes in the tumbling-down of every plan, expectation, and “finished work.” It comes in the over-and-over-again “no” from agents, editors, contests, and more.

But the MAGIC is in the mentors, the critique partners, the enthusiastic young beta-readers, and the “ah-ha” breakthroughs in story, art, and direction. (Thank you a million times to our SCBWI leaders, to Julie Hedlund and 12×12, to contest and pitch-party organizers, to my amazing critique partners, to my kids and their friends — and to my sister Sarah for scrutinizing every page and query — and trying to take out all — my — dashes 😆)

One of my recent breakthroughs began at an SCBWI SoCal conference. The portfolio reviewers (who were amazing!) looked at the art I was so proud of and said lovely, kind things… but then…

…they gave the critiques:

Too much black line work.
Too flat; no contrast.
The kids look too old for picture books.

Oh, no!! What now?!

Be SO thankful is what!!

I did feel a bit crushed — thanks, neurodivergent “rejection-sensitive dysphoria” — but I want to grow more than I want to feel safe.

So I listened. Yes, I’d been leaning on my trusty black micron pens, relishing the flow, and avoiding the complexity of value. Yes, I’d recently been basing all proportions on my long-limbed 3rd-grader. Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, I would need to redo absolutely everything.

Back to our unpaid internship! Lisa Hancock’s casual mention of a clipping mask (more magic!!) in her wonderful Procreate lesson gave me tools to create depth without losing texture. My critique partners gifted me the bounty of a weeks-long email exchange full of wonderful resources and again-and-again feedback.

So here I am right now, with brown and blue pencils, watercolor flows, Procreate techniques, and a growing glow. A glow that’s better than feeling safe.

Advice is humbling. And so empowering. I’m taking it! Even if I have to do everything again, again.

Here are some more of my Before-and-Afters:

I can’t wait for whatever comes next!