My newest project, Esme, Herself, is very close to my heart and identity as an autistic person. Working on a project so personally meaningful has been amazing! It fills my mind, heart, and hands, helping me grow as a person and artist.
The story is based on my own experiences growing up. I’ve often felt I need to hide my unique thoughts, mannerisms, movements, and needs in order to fit in, but hiding my neurodivergence – called “masking” by the autistic community – didn’t make me happy. I just felt more isolated, unfulfilled, and frequently overwhelmed.
I’ve learned over time and with the unconditional love of family and good friends that it’s not just ok, but very important to be myself freely. In fact, it helps not only me, but also others who might look to me for support, guidance, or more.
I wish I could tell my childhood self to free herself from her mask, but I can’t — so I’ll tell my readers, instead, with the story of 6-year-old Esme:
Neurodivergent 6-year-old Esme’s inner dragon fidgets, flaps, and roars, though she stifles it to fit in. But when a new student looks sadder than Esme feels, might finally freeing her wings and wiggles help not only her classmate —but also Esme, herself?
In Esme’s story, I use my personal experiences and my love of fantastical creatures to show a suppressed neurodivergent identity coming free. I’ve based her metaphorical true self on a dream I’ve had since childhood in which I am a dragon — colorfully scaled, graceful in flight — but must hide as a human to be accepted and safe. I believe the recurring dream reflects a longtime belief that I’m somehow other, but in a way that isn’t valid.
As I’ve come to value, understand, and express my true autistic self, I’ve found connection and fulfillment I never expected. The old recurring dream has faded… but I still dream of flight!
I’m very excited about Esme’s story, and I hope to be able to share it with the world soon! I’m actively seeking a literary agent.
—> Learn more about Autism from my resource here: https://carrieschneiderauthorillustrator.com/2022/04/23/its-autism-acceptance-month-what-does-it-mean-to-be-autistic/ or at ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network): https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/about-autism/
Carrie Schneider Author/Illustrator 
I absolutely love this Carrie!! How wonderful! I would love to purchase your book. Please let me know when it’s available. What a gift to give the world- so many people will be so encouraged. Thanks so much for creating and sharing!!!
LikeLike
This is beautiful. I cannot wait to read this book to my daughter! You have such a gift, Carrie!
LikeLike